Tense & Release

My new book, "IJust Wanted Love: Recovery of a Codependent, Sex and Love Addict," will be released on December 31, 2014, which is only 18 days away! I am truly excited to have the world know my story. I believe it will be helpful to so many in recovery and those exploring whether or not recovery is for them.

Although I have all this excitement---it is causing some tension as well. My story is not a simple story. It is extremely complex and a many people will be impacted by the words I have written. A few weeks ago, I traveled to Georgia to talk to some of those people. I had to share with them some emotionally painful facts about my life pre- and post-recovery. 

I was grateful that I walked away from that experience having a new found love and respect for my family. They were mostly appreciative of my openness and willingness to be so vulnerable. I know they are proud of me. 

I remember feeling so much tension prior to meeting with each person to tell him/her a piece of my story. I didn't know what to expect. I tried not to make assumptions about what the response would be. I relied on my Higher Power to guide my words and my actions--and I made it through. I would leave a person's home or restaurant location and feel the tension and anxiety release from my body. It felt relieving, but after doing that probably more than ten times I was exhausted. I think I am still recovering from my trip. 

My work hasn't stopped since returning to my home in Seattle; I made a choice to notify the spouse of the man who molested me. Higher Power helped me understand that notifying her is the next step in my recovery process. I mentioned my desire to my therapist and he told me that by telling her my truth I would finally be free of all secrets--no more fuel for my addiction!

As you might imagine, I felt incredible amounts of tension during the writing process. I prayed before allowing my Higher Power to guide my words. I wrote until the letter felt complete. My body became so tense--I felt physically sick, but I felt relieved moments later. It was like a toxin was finally out of my system. I cried while reading the letter to one of my best friends. It was the most impactful letter I have ever written. It was the honest, brutal truth. It was brave and beautiful. It is freedom. 

I don't know how many people will appreciate the work that I am sharing, but if just one person is helped, I am happy. Let my voice be a guide when you need one. My process hasn't been perfect, but it is overseen by a loving Higher Power who wants nothing but the best for me--that's more than I could ever ask for. 

If you want a chance to heal--tell your truth, even if it's only on paper. Allow the tension an opportunity to release.

Stay safe, sane, and sober. 

Happy Holidays,

DJ

ijustwantedlove.com

tinyurl.com/ijwltrailer--book trailer

Songs of "I Just Wanted Love"