The Return of Choice

In the rooms of recovery, we often talk about the "return of choice." In other words, we become able to choose for ourselves instead of our addicted brains compelling us to do harmful, destructive behaviors. 

I am grateful for the return of choice. Having the ability to choose has opened up my sober life to many beautiful, inspirational opportunities. I am no longer compelled to carry out sexual acts that are against my value system. I can have male friends without sexualizing the relationship or them. I have learned to love myself and love others as human beings who are perfectly imperfect. 

I am free of compulsive behaviors dictating my very existence. My choices are no longer directed toward a bottomless pit of shame and despair. I don't have to consider suicide as an option to hide away from pain. 

I have a family who loves me and whom I love. I don't have to make sure they are okay before I am okay. I get to experience healthy dating for the first time in my life. I no longer have to have hook ups with strangers in order to feel valuable, wanted and loved.

I have the choice to be myself. Recovery has given me the freedom to choose who I am; who I love; want I want; want I need, and to make healthy decisions without sabotaging my life in the process. 

Writing my memoir, I Just Wanted Love: Recovery of a Codependent, Sex and Love Addict, has given me an outlet to get all my secrets out. I no longer have to carry them around like a one-hundred pound boulder. Today, I am living a healthy life. I like myself and I love myself like never before. 

I am grateful for recovery--without it I wouldn't be safe, sane, and sober. 

Happy New Year to you and yours. Take care of yourselves and each other. 

Sincerely, 

DJ Burr